I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
