Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
