i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
