I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize