i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
