I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
