Where is the hickey?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
