just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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