HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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