just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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