Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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