It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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