If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
