He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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