the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
