Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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