I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
