I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
