she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
