nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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