Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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