No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize