The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
