Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This is the high leading the old right now
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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