I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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