i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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