Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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