Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
