i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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