There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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