i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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