your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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