I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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