I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
