I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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