Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize