Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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