lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
