And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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