i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
