so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize