Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
