they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
