you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
