All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize