Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is Oprah even human
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
