woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
