so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
