Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
