I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
