Whod you bang
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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