3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
