I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize