i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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