i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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