talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
found the other keg... it's in the tree
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
