I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
