ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
