Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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