I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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