ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
