she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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