then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
