I got chris browned last night
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize