In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
