She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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